Last night I dreamt that Channing Tatum nervously presented me with a dress he’d knitted for me. He clenched his (big, work-roughened) hands in anxious fists while I unfolded it.
“You don’t have to wear it,” he said, before I could say anything.
The dress was perfect. It was beautiful. It could turn into a skirt.
“You like it?” Channing Tatum said, smiling crookedly.
The dress had pockets.
IM SCREAMIN
#BUCKY’S FUCING F A C E IN THE LAST GIF OH MY GOD#HE’S JUST LIKE#LISTEN YOUR MAJESTY#I’VE BEEN AROUND FOR A WHILE#I’VE SEEN SOME SHIT#I HAVE DONE LITERALLY NOTHING IN THE PAST 70 YEARS THAT I WAS PROUD OF#BUT AT LEAST THAT SHIT WAS ROUTINE#IN THE PAST 24 HOURS I’VE HAD A WHOLE SPECIAL UNIT BLAST ME OUT OF MY OWN HOUSE#HAD MY BRAINFUCK RESTARTED BY A FAKE PSYCHOLOGIST#(DO I EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN ON HOW MANY LEVELS THAT ONE ALONE IS REALLY FUCKED UP)#AND ENCOUNTERED NOT ONE#NOT TWO#BUT F O U R PEOPLE WITH WEAPONIZED ANIMAL COSTUMES#ONE OF THEM LEFT ME STUFFED IN THE BACK OF A SMALL CAR#ONE OF THEM IS A SMALL CHILD WITH SUPERGLUE WHO STILL KINDA KICKED MY ASS#AND ONE OF THEM IS YOU#I actually don’t know what’s up with the dude in the ant helmet he seems okay though#BASICALLY WHAT I’M SAYING IS#I’M REALLY SORRY ABOUT YOUR DAD#BUT I’M KINDA HAVING A REALLY SHIT DAY MYSELF#PLEASE CUT ME SOME SLACK @therothwoman
Me as a thief: Steals the US Constitution. Replaces it with a perfect forgery, except the Second Amendment has been edited from “the right to bear arms” to “the right to bare arms.” Breaking News the next day: Nation has been misreading the Constitution for over 200 years. Historians mortified. Politicians scramble to save face. Gun control laws go into effect nationwide. School principals trying to punish high school girls for wearing tank tops get slapped with a lawsuit for violating their Second Amendment right to bare arms. I fall asleep on a mountain of money in my mansion in the Bahamas. Suck it Nicolas Cage.
tumblr: i love character development
steve harrington: goes against asshole bad boy trope, doesnt ignore nancy after having sex with her unlike we thought he would, doesnt tell anybody that they had sex just like he promised, deeply cares about her, experiences peer pressure from his friends that make him act like an asshole, realizes his friends are assholes and he was being one, knows what he did is wrong, apologizes about it repeatedly, doesnt expect or demand forgiveness, buys new camera for jonathan and keeps it a secret that he bought it, doesnt expect a thank you for jonathan, in general isnt an entitled asshole, helps kill the creature after them, swings bat like a cutie
tumblr: he’s such trash
“i was born in the wrong generation” i say as i fight aliens and hydra agents in the 21st century with a shield and command a team of superhumans. i am steve rogers
i just realized that with my username this probably comes off as bucky making fun of steve after he gets his memories back which definitely works for me
